We have received a lot questions from different people in different occasions as to "why the butterfly"? Well, the butterfly has a lot of meanings to a lot of people. Sometimes they feel the same connection that we do. Sometimes it could be just a sign or a message that something positive will evolve or it's a sign from a loved one. The more I talk about it and the more I notice these "signs" the more people are starting to believe with us. Sabi's presence is so strong spiritually that even though we cannot feel her, touch her, or kiss her, I have to say I feel her spiritually and I'm thankful for that.
It all started on that dreadful week that Sabrina passed that to this day still feels kind of foggy in my brain. Erik's mom's best friends as we would call them "Sabrina's fairy godmothers", which were legally not her god parents but lets say they had an opportunity to spoil her ;), in their most loving and supportive way asked if we were okay to release butterflies at Sabrina's funeral. As you can imagine, I did not even want to think about planning nor be part of that funeral's arrangements. For God's sake, never did I ever think this day would even come to plan a funeral for my own child. I have a knot still in the pit of my stomach as I am writing this. Well in any case, we agreed to the release the butterflies and let me tell you, thank goodness we did. I remember like if it was yesterday. That entire week the weather was absolutely terrible. Thunderstorms and rain all day, all week. It was like if the earth was also destroyed. The day of the funeral we were nervous that we wouldn't be able to release the butterflies because it was highly recommended to release during sunlight. Our best friends drove us to the funeral where I didn't even want to get out of the car. I couldn't believe all of these people are here for Sabrina. The weather was clearing up and finally a patch of the sunlight was coming out. We decided to release the butterflies before the service began. Our little cousin that plays a guitar had no idea about this butterfly release but wrote a song that incorporated words about a butterfly. Godincidence. We started to release the butterflies, which I thought was just going to be 3 of them, but ended up being like a dozen butterflies. It was beautiful. Peaceful. Calm. As they all flew up and away we felt some peace. There was one butterfly that stayed on our cousin's finger. I swear it felt like 10 minutes which prob was 30 seconds. That butterfly just stayed there, flapping her wings, like if it was listening to the song with us. Finally, when that butterfly traveled up, we decided to walk into the church. I couldn't help but notice that same butterfly flying from tree to tree, as if it was leading us into the church.
A few days had passed since the funeral and we decided to meet up with our friends for dinner that started the gofundme page. We wanted to thank them for opening it and to also tell them about the butterfly experience at the funeral and how incredible it was. They were touched and also couldn't believe it. Well, shortly after dinner when we all got home, we received a call from our friends. To back track slightly, not only did we workout at their gym at peak360fitness but their daughter and Sabrina were really close. They were just 2 weeks apart. When they called us, all I kept hearing was babbling "there is a butterfly in our room". I must have heard that like 5x. This was at about 11:30p at night inside their bedroom they found a small yellow butterfly fluttering around. Check out the video below for some proof ;) Pretty amazing huh? After that video they told me they placed the butterfly in their daughter's room and the next day couldn't find it. God bless.
Fast forward to leading up to Sabrina's second birthday. We were thinking as to where could we go to sit and always remember Sabrina. Someplace happy. Not a cemetery type place where its sad all the time or at least for me it is. After some research a friend reminded us there is a butterfly garden at Fairchild Tropical Garden. So we ran over there and had the opportunity to purchase a commemorative bench in Sabrina's name in their outdoor butterfly garden. The unveiling landed on her actual birthday and I had just told Erik that day how I wished so bad to have her here with us on her 2nd birthday. We had just decided what and where we would have gone for her birthday. I told Erik that all I would want is her kiss and tight hug around my neck that she would always do. Well sure enough after we blessed the bench we went to the exotic indoor butterfly conservatory where we were part of the butterfly release. They do them daily, 2x a day. I highly recommend it if you go. So as they were releasing the butterflies one gently flew to my left chest and started crawling up to my neck. I mean does this happen? Picture for reference.
After sweating like crazy at the unveiling we noticed the sweat mark in the shape of a butterfly on the back of my dads shirt. Godincidence? I think pretty amazing.
Later on, the family invited us to get away with them. Since when do sushi places carve butterflies out of carrots on cruise ships?
Pottery barn decided to come out with a bedding line called "Sabrina" and it just so happened to be purple butterflies. Things that make you go.... hmmmm? PS I hope this line comes back so Anna Sofia could have it ;)
Dollar tree comes out with 4th of July butterfly wings. Pretty amazing as this holiday for some reason holds close to my heart. We loved spending long weekends at my in laws' beach apartment. Where we would spend all day till evening playing in the sand and water. Sabrina ended up with a better tan than all of us. So when the dollar tree came out with these the first 4th of July without her this felt she was there just not physically. We miss you baby.
Lastly, with so many more stories and Godincidences this one leaves me speechless. We decided on New Year's Eve 2017-2018 to release a lantern instead of fireworks. Not planned. I prayed so hard to Jesus, that Sabi would give me a sign or a feeling on what we should accomplish starting in 2018. There has to be a purpose for us. So then the next morning I woke up to see the video of us releasing the lantern and immediately my jaw dropped. I re-watched it probably 100x. I asked myself, could it be? Texted a few friends and asked them too. Did I just see a butterfly orb? After, a few confirmations that YES! Its a freaking butterfly orb. Wow. I then got the feeling that we need to blog more and continue to help others on this path of infertility, grief, and hope.
At the end of all of this, I just hope and pray that this gives you hope. Opens up your eyes and ears to know and believe that our loved ones are close. They do try to communicate through what they can here on earth. I believe Sabi speaks through butterflies. Yes, could it be coincidences? Sure. I rather call it godincidences. I have friends around that also feel Sabi through butterflies and I love hearing those stories or moments. Not sure why they got that sign but I say its a sign for them to see it and share it with me. This way I won't go a day without feeling her spirit. If you can relate I would love to hear your stories and connection. Please feel free to share and tag. Especially if you ever visit Sabrina's bench at Fairchild Tropical Gardens. It truly is peaceful.
#growwithus #growingthepizarros #sabispiritlives #shenowflieswithbutterflies