Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."
What does 687 days mean? It is the amount of days we enjoyed our legendary princess, Sabrina, from birth till she was called to heaven. It has now been the same amount of days that Sabrina “left to Heaven.” It dawned on us after listening to a beautiful “Green Talk” with La Fofi’s Rainbow Foundation where Betsy spoke about the same scenario. Those close to us know that I always mention that my life before July 21, 2015 was a fairytale. It started as just a regular workday on a Tuesday till I received the most frightening call from my husband. Running out of my office, running to my car, driving to the hospital, parking wherever there was a space available. Running out of my car, feeling the pavement under my feet till I would run into the ER screaming, crying and in complete loss. Front staff and nurses knew I was there for a toddler in the emergency. A lady that works inside the ER had me sit in front of her, asked if I believed in faith and to begin praying with her as I noticed through the corner of my eye seeing over several fireman, officers, nurses, and doctors all working on Sabrina. Anxiety kicking in, family rolling in, they had us in a 4x4 room with chairs to wait in there till the doctor could come out and update me. At this point I have no idea how many hours it was but I felt this huge knot in my heart and throat as I am writing this I get the same feeling. I get these flashbacks till this day and probably for the rest of my life. When the doc walks with a couple of his nurses, he has a face of distress. Eyes blood shot that appeared he was crying. He comes to then tell me that Sabi did not make it. From that moment I just remember collapsing on the floor in a fetal position, screaming, in shock, in disbelief, angry, and leaving the hospital without Sabrina. The last time I had felt, smelled, kissed that precious angel was that AM before going into work. The only thing I wanted was Erik to be by my side. I felt the only person truly on this earth that could understand this complete pain; heart removed from my soul would only be him. I felt life was on a pause. Mind in a fog. That feeling continued for months, I would say about 6 months or so when Erik and I decided to go away for Christmas to Quebec, CA. The conversation sparked as how empty we felt. How we miss this little soul on earth with us. How we felt incomplete and that maybe we should start the consultation process about going back to doing IVF. So after a rollercoaster of emotions in going through the entire process - getting pregnant, being pregnant and finally meeting Sabrina’s sister, Anna Sofia. We have to look back at these last 687 days and say they were stormy , but what a blessing to receive the most precious rainbow. She makes us believe that unicorns are real. She gives us hope every single day. Her smiles alone help beat our heart faster. So as we continue on this new normal we have to believe now that we are 687 closer into being reunited with Sabrina. We continue and I hope we continue to feel Sabi spirit on earth. I know your sister feels and sees you too. Anna Sofia and all children are truly a gift from god. We all are children of god. Hug your little ones a little extra harder today and enjoy today, as tomorrow is not promised.
God bless and thank you for continuing your prayers,
“with God all things are possible."
Photo credit: Shanna Nye Photography
Photo credit: Melissa Queen